ROCK and ROLE – The Visionary Songs of Peter Hammill and Van der Graaf Generator by Joe Banks – Book Review

How a magnificent new book helped me rediscover the maverick’s music

*****

The Cover of ROCK and ROLE by Joe Banks published by Kingmaker Publishing.

Often, the route to discovering new music is fairly conventional; there’s no Damascene moment. I found The Cure and Joy Division (and many other bands) by listening to John Peel on BBC Radio One. I discovered The Beatles and Pink Floyd by listening to my older brother’s records (1967-1970 and The Dark Side of the Moon).

Very rarely, pure serendipity can introduce you to music that changes your life. As I have previously described on this blog, I found the music of Steven Wilson by chance when I was making a radio programme about high-quality music production.

On Tuesday, 26 September 1978, Peter Hammill supported Brand X at Manchester Apollo. I went to that gig, probably because I had heard of Brand X through their connection with Genesis drummer Phil Collins, although by then Collins had left the band.

I hadn’t heard of Peter Hammill before I saw him live. I was puzzled that several audience members left after he played. I stayed on to watch Brand X, who were very good. It was only later, when I saw Hammill supporting Marillion in London and the same thing happened again, that I realised some fans had come only to see him, even though he was the support act.

Poster for the Peter Hammill Tour in 1978 with Brand X: ‘The Odd Couple Tour’

At the Manchester gig, I bought the concert programme, and on the back was a picture of a half-shaved Hammill, Janus-like, with one half of his face in the past and the other in the future, promoting his new album, The Future Now, released that month. My programme is long lost, but I still remember his avowed intention to, in his words, ‘carry on’ (I remember the italics, too).

My father, the most important musical influence in my life, came to pick me up from the Apollo. He was as bemused as I was by the strange image. But there was something about Hammill that resonated deeply in my adolescent mind. I quickly became an avid fan, buying all the records I could by Hammill as a solo artist and with his band Van der Graaf Generator.

The music we hear as teenagers often resonates with us for the rest of our lives. There’s more time to listen to music at that age, and our intellectual and emotional influences are more plastic than later in life when adult commitments take over. Nostalgia is powerful. Listening back to the music we loved then, can we be sure it’s good music now? Can we be objective? Does it even matter?

So it came as a surprise to me (and to my friends, family and everyone else that knows me) that I found another artist, Steven Wilson, who had an equally profound effect on me. This was about 40 years later, long past the time when I should still have been discovering new, contemporary music. After I met Wilson about ten years ago, I bought all his solo records and his Porcupine Tree recordings. Something about his music touched my soul.

I began a new journey of discovery, delving deep into the world of contemporary progressive rock, with artists like iamthemorning, Marjana Semkina, Gleb Kolyadin, Hats Off Gentlemen It’s Adequate, Ms Amy Birks and The Beatrix Players. In the meantime, Peter Hammill continued to lurk somewhere in my psyche.

There was a time when vinyl was as popular as a 90-minute drum solo. When we moved house 30 years ago, we were short of space and seduced by the ‘perfect sound forever’ that CDs promised. We sold our turntable and our vinyl. This included my collection of Peter Hammill and Van der Graaf LPs. We kept a few records for the sake of nostalgia, even though we could no longer play them. So I kept my copy of Sgt. Pepper, a couple of albums by The Cure… and Sitting Targets by Peter Hammill…

When I was writing my first-ever blog for this site, How I Found Steven Wilson in 2019 (later updated), words from Peter Hammill came into my mind, like the Ghost of Progressive Past,

I’ve got every one of your records, man,
Doesn’t that mean that I own you? 


'Energy Vampires' by Peter Hammill from The Future Now (1978)

It was late at night in my writing/listening room, and I had to stop to remind myself of the track whose lyrics were lodged deep in my brain. Once again, Hammill spoke to my soul.

I'm not selling you my soul
Try to put it in the records
But I've got to keep my life my own

In 2023, I began a new series on my blog called Off the Beaten Track. The first post was a review of Burn the World by Hats Off Gentlemen It’s Adequate. But it wasn’t long before Peter Hammill’s work floated back into my consciousness with Autumn and A Louse is not a Home, and more recently Mr X (Gets Tense)/Faculty X. I was also lucky enough to see Hammill playing live in Manchester last October.

Off the Beaten Track Logo - nick-holmes-music.com
Off the Beaten Track

My interest in Hammill has been further revived by Father Christmas, who kindly brought me a copy of the new book ROCK and ROLE – The Visionary Songs of Peter Hammill and Van der Graaf Generator by Joe Banks, and the multi-CD box set Peter Hammill The Charisma & Virgin Recordings 1971-1986. Who knew that St Nick (no relation) was a fan of progressive rock?

Reading the Introduction to Banks’ superb book, it’s striking how similar the careers of Steven Wilson and Peter Hammill have been. If you went through the Introduction and replaced Hammill’s name with Wilson’s, many of the statements would remain true:

Both artists have passionate fans, in Hammill’s case described by Banks as ‘true believers.’

Both fronted groups for whom they wrote the music and lyrics (Van der Graaf and Porcupine Tree, respectively.)

Both have pursued successful solo careers but have sometimes returned to perform, record, and play live with their bands.

Both have created music that pushes boundaries and challenges listeners. Try Hammill’s ‘Magog (In Bromine Chambers)’ from In Camera (1974), a ten-minute, frankly terrifying essay in musique concrète, which Banks describes as ‘a bold move even by Hammill’s standards.’ Compare anything under Steven Wilson’s Bass Communion. In prog, no one can hear you scream.

Both artists have been categorised as progressive rock, but that doesn’t do them full justice:

They can write epic prog songs, full of portentous concepts.

They can write art-rock songs.

They can write gorgeous, heartfelt ballads with memorable melodies.

They share a certain cynicism about the world, particularly organised religion and politics. Their lyrics are thoughtful and intelligent, covering a wide range of topics, from the profoundly personal to biting social commentary.

They share, in Banks’ words on Hammill,

“[an] unquenchable creative spirit, consistently pushing at the boundaries of what’s possible.

The Love Songs (1984) by Peter Hammill

Both artists, recognising that their music isn’t the easiest to assimilate, have released compilation albums which are intended to introduce listeners to ‘the more accessible side’ of their music.

Wilson released Transience in 2016, which included a cover of Alanis Morissette’s Thank You and various radio edits.

Hammill released The Love Songs in 1984, with re-recorded versions of ballads from his previous albums. Banks describes it as ‘a misstep, both artistically and commercially… some of the songs sound positively traumatised by the experience.’ I added to my parents’ trauma by briefly modelling my dress sense on Hammill’s as seen on the cover of the album (see above), complete with white boots. Fortunately, no photographic evidence is available of my sartorial misstep.

Banks’ book is arranged chronologically, with historical context provided for each release, starting with The Aerosol Grey Machine, released by Van der Graaf in 1969 and ending with Hammill’s solo album A Black Box from 1980; the ‘classic years’ when Hammill and his band were signed to the Charisma label. The final chapters address key themes in Hammill’s songs from the seventies, his poetry and prose, and pen portraits of Hammill. The section on the post-Charisma years (of which there are now 45!) sensibly picks landmark albums from those times, including (pleasingly) the aforementioned Sitting Targets, my copy of which has now been reunited with a new turntable….

Sitting Targets, once again sitting on a turntable where it belongs

The book is beautifully illustrated throughout. It includes footnotes, chronological lists of releases and Radio/TV recordings, references and an index, all of which make it easy to navigate the book and Hammill’s extensive career. It’s nicely bound too, rather than just glued together, making it easy to fold flat without causing it a spinal injury.

The most fascinating and valuable aspect of the book is the detailed analysis of each album and each song, with subtly colour-coded pages to make them easier to find. I should declare a professional interest here. This blog, as well as my book on Porcupine Tree and my forthcoming book on Steven Wilson, often attempts a detailed, track-by-track analysis of an artist’s work. As Banks wisely says,

This is, of course, an entirely subjective exercise, and other interpretations are always available.

Agreed! It’s fascinating for me to compare Banks’ interpretations of Hammill’s songs with my own. I was amused to read that ‘attempting to describe the music’s flow in detail’ for a song like A Louse is not a Home is a ‘fool’s errand.’ Reader, I went off on that errand…

Banks often comes up with a lovely turn of phrase which perfectly sums up the mood of a song, such as his description of the opening of A Louse,

“With vocal and bass piano in perfect unison, Hammill delivers the opening line – “Sometimes, it’s very scary here” – in a lugubrious, Bela Lugosi voice, a horror show host introducing the midnight movie.”

Banks says that (like Steven Wilson), Hammill has always remained true to his artistic vision, which has always been more important to him than selling records. He does a superb job of reminding us of the unique quality of Hammill’s vision and his astonishing singing voice. The level of detail and insight Banks brings to his analysis will be extremely valuable to long-term fans, but his clarity and enthusiasm will also appeal to curious, open-minded music fans who don’t know Hammill’s music. Banks does what all good music writers should do – make us want to listen to the music he is writing about.

Peter Hammill: A visionary

The design and layout of the book are a model for a music book. Let’s hope that Kingmaker Publishing, founded in 2019, Prog magazine journalist/Big Big Train manager Nick Shilton and Big Big Train founder Greg Spawton, publish more like this in future.

This is a book to treasure, to savour like a bottle of vintage Port, to dip into as you listen to each album and each song. The new box set, Peter Hammill The Charisma & Virgin Recordings 1971-1986, makes a perfect companion.

Peter Hammill The Charisma & Virgin Recordings 1971-1986

Read on…

How I found Steven Wilson

Steven Wilson and Nick Holmes

Steven Wilson is known as ‘The most successful British musician most people have never heard of’. So how did I find him? (updated April 2022)

Steven Wilson and Nick Holmes at a book signing in Manchester in April 2022

In February 2009, Steven Wilson did something uncharacteristically violent; he destroyed five iPods. He shot the first one, smiling ‘wow’ when he hit it first time, but sensibly wearing ear defenders. He took a blow torch to the next one, wearing a mask that might be worn by a member of a heavy metal band (a new look for Slipknot?) or perhaps by a professional welder. The third iPod was murdered by Steven wielding a hammer; walking away from the scene of the crime in a smart black suit, he could be a star of a Scandinavian drama. In the fourth crime scene, Steven drives over the ipod in a small blue sensibly-priced car; to make sure it’s dead he stamps on it.  In the fifth crime scene, Steven takes a sledge hammer to his final victim.

These crimes against technology didn’t lead to an appearance on Crimewatch; no reconstruction was necessary as all the incidents had been filmed for YouTube. The first video did attract nearly 58,000 views (as at October 2019). Each video ended with a reference to an album called Insurgentes. Maybe he was just promoting the album? 

In 2015, I found out about Steven’s activities when I was researching a radio programme I was making. I was looking for a musician who was passionate about high quality sound. Neil Young was a possibility as he was developing a new device called a Pono (yes, without an r in the middle) to play back high-quality music files. I reached out to Neil (or his people) but presumably he was washing his hair (there is quite a lot of it). After a bit more searching, I found another hirsute musician called Steven Wilson. I had never heard of him, but I was intrigued by his crimes against iPods and also the things he was saying in interviews then, 

Unfortunately for me, I live in a world where download and streaming culture are here to stay; iPods are the dominant form in which people listen to music. I can no longer kid myself that people are listening to vinyl records at home or 5.1. There is a small group of audiophiles that have always listened to those things, and of which I am a part, but the majority of people listen to music streaming on their laptops or on MP3s on their iPods; I have to accept that, I can’t cut myself off to it, but I don’t have to like it, and I still think that it’s a very poor substitute for a high quality experience. 

I have never smashed any iPods but I shared Steven’s passion for high quality music reproduction. My Presenter and I duly went to Steven’s house to interview Steven. My Presenter had never heard of him either, but then my Presenter hasn’t heard of most of the people we interview. 

Steven opened the door of his house. He wasn’t wearing any shoes. I found out later that this was A Thing for Steven but at the time I didn’t think it odd that he asked us to remove our shoes – we had walked through the garden to get to the house and obviously he didn’t want us to get mud on his carpet. 

Steven was charming and articulate, and spoke passionately about his love of high-quality sound. He used a striking analogy; listening to a low-quality MP3 file compared to listening to a high-quality file was like looking at a work of art reproduced as a jpeg compared to going to an art gallery to see the original painting. He was quietly persuasive, firm in his views but gentle and thoughtful in delivery. 

I went back to the studio to edit and mix the programme which involved listening over and over again to the same bits of audio; and then listening to them again. I wanted to put in some of Steven’s music to illustrate the style. His most recent album then was the intriguingly titled The Raven That Refused to Sing and Other Stories (true fans call the album simply The Raven). It sounded like a concept album from the 1970s such as Edgar Allan Poe’s Tales of Mystery and Imagination, or Tales from Topographic Oceans.  I found out later that Steven had set out to write a 1970s-style concept album, which was fine with me…not only did I buy Dark Side of the Moon on vinyl, then cd, then on cd again for the 30th anniversary, then on remastered cd, but I also bought a triple live album by Yes called Yessongs. The latter sounded if it was recorded on wet socks (which is maybe why Steven doesn’t wear any) but the musicianship is amazing and it introduced me to long form rock music, otherwise known as Progressive Rock. 

Back in the radio studio, I was listening again and again to the title track of The Raven That Refused to Sing; there was something really haunting about Steven’s delicate vocals, and the repeating piano motif which kept switching from major to minor and back again. One of the joys of working in radio is that sometimes you can just sit in the studio and listen to good music on decent loudspeakers just for the pleasure of it and nobody can tell you off as it’s part of the Day Job. So I did…and realised that I found the piece very moving. Something about the sparse lyrics and the repeating piano chords spoke to me, 

Sing for me, 
Sing for me.
You can come with meYou can live with me. 
Heal my soul, 
Make me whole.

As the poet William Wordsworth once wrote, it felt like ‘emotion recollected in tranquillity’. There was something of the Romantic Poet in Steven’s music. 

On the table in the smart little waiting room in Steven’s house there was a coffee table with a single item on it – a copy of the latest issue of Prog magazine. It’s possible that it had a picture of Steven on the front; I can’t remember now but I found out later that he has been on the cover a few times. Sometimes, reading Prog magazine every month as I now do, it seems to me that he is seen as the saviour of  prog rock, preventing it from becoming a comfortable branch of the nostalgia industry through all the remasters and reissues; why buy one remastered cd when you can buy a box with 12 cds of slightly different versions and multiple out-takes and live recordings? Why buy any new music at all? (I confess I am as guilty of this as anyone else of my generation; I admit that I turn first to the re-issues pages in the music magazines I read, but I have never spent £400 on a Pink Floyd box set). 

Before meeting Steven, I discovered that he had a healthy side-line in remixing classic prog albums. I bought one of these and was relieved to discover that he had made excellent work on an album that I had always enjoyed musically but could barely listen to because the sound was so piercing. As were leaving his house, I thanked him for making a great album so good to listen to at last. I should point out that I tend to avoid letting interviewees know that I am a fan of their work; the objective journalist in me tells me that I should keep a professional distance. Also, I have never forgotten a line from the Peter Hammill song, Energy Vampires about the extreme view some fans have of their heroes 

Excuse me while I suck your blood,
Excuse me when I phone you,
I’ve got every one of your records, man, 
Doesn’t that mean that I own you? 
I'm not selling you my soul
Try to put it in the records
But I've got to keep my life my own

When fans suck all the energy from their heroes, it can lead to the kind of extreme alienation that Roger Waters experienced, leading him to spit at a fan and build a wall (and write a Wall). I can confirm that Steven Wilson didn’t spit at me. 

While in his home studio (not like your average home studio – it had high quality speakers, an original Mellotron and the a guitar pedal board the size of a small car) I was intrigued to see that the record that Steven was remixing on the day we met him was not by some Prog Hero, but by Tears for Fears. When his last album To the Bone came out later that suddenly made a lot of sense. He said 

My fifth [solo] record is in many ways inspired by the hugely ambitious progressive pop records that I loved in my youth. I grew up listening to a lot of very smart pop records by artists like Kate Bush, Talk Talk, Peter Gabriel, Prince, Depeche Mode, Tears for Fears, The The. 

So at that time he saw himself as a progressive artist, but was he the King of Prog Rock as some people have viewed him? When I asked him if he saw himself as a Prog Rocker, his answer was more interesting than the question. He said he saw himself as a story teller, whose records were not a collection of 10 three-minute songs, but long form narratives, like a film or a novel. 

That was a good answer. It’s sometimes helpful to put music into a neat little box (like the little instructions to record shop staff on the back of records that used to say File under Progressive Thrash Metal etc.) But I was pleased that Steven didn’t want to be categorised. All he wanted to do was re-invent himself with every record he made, an ambition that is rarer than it should be, although no doubt David Bowie would have approved. 

It’s strange how music can find you sometimes, rather than you actively seeking it out. I found Steven Wilson’s music by accident, too. You could say it was Fate, but I wouldn’t believe you. I could put in one of my favourite quotes about Fate from John Lennon here 

Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans 

It turns out that the original quote is attributed to someone else who may have been called Allen Saunders. I may never Google anything again, to save future disappointment. 

In any case, I was making other plans when Steven Wilson (or at least his music) came to find me, 

Heal my soul
Make me whole 

Now, you should stop reading this for the next 10 minutes or so, to give you time to listen to The Raven that Refused to Sing. It’s on all the major streaming services, and also there’s a beautiful animated video on YouTube, made by Jess Cope from Owl House Studios.

I have started listening to the song on Spotify to as I write this, but I will stop now to listen properly. See you shortly… 

The comments about the song on YouTube suggest that it has created a river of tears in its listeners and viewers. I will pick only one, followed by an extract for the lyrics of the song 

My older sister died few years ago, so I can’t describe how it felt when I listened this masterpiece for the very first time, at some point it felt like the song was written for me.

Sister, I lost you, 
When you were still a child,
But I need you now,
And I need our former life.
I'm afraid to wake,
I'm afraid to love. 

The song ends with a very simple line on the piano. I can reach my piano keyboard from here to pick out the notes. They are easy to play, but also profoundly moving. 

That was a slight diversion; I hadn’t intended to stop and listen at this point, or to reveal the effect that Steven Wilson’s music can have, but I don’t feel embarrassed. Otherwise, as somebody once said (and you can spend an hour researching it if you want to find out who, and still not be sure who said it),

writing about music is like dancing about architecture 

See you next time. 

Links

Tangerine Trees – Unrecorded Electronic Music

Here is some electronic music that I wrote under the name Tangerine Trees a few years ago….

Track One…
Track Two…
Track Three…

with thanks to Tangerine Dream for inspiration.

How I learned to listen to King Crimson

A huge compression of grinding guitar riffs and stupefying bass, only upstaged on occasion by drumming that reminds me of the time my pet frog was squashed by seven falling refrigerators.

Paul Ferguson, Amazon Review of Thrak by King Crimson, February 2003 

I hope Paul’s frog survived. In case you are wondering whether Paul liked the album, his review begins 

Wow. I was simply astounded when I first heard this

Paul gives the album five stars (not seven, one for each fridge…..?) 

To continue with the pet frog analogy, one of my friends describes some contemporary classical music as sounding like ‘a fire in a pet shop’, and the music of King Crimson can sometimes seem similarly difficult.

But another ‘difficult’ composer Arnold Schoenberg wrote not just the atonal horrorshow (and I mean that in a good way) of Erwartung but also the moon-drenched Romantic lyricism of Verklärte Nacht: 

Erwartung and Verklärte Nacht

King Crimson’s first album, In the Court of the Crimson King, now 50 years old, is still a difficult listen. The first two tracks perfectly demonstrate the two different styles, beginning with 21st Century Schizoid Man.

Cat's foot iron claw    
           
Neurosurgeons scream for more  

At paranoia's poison door
    
21st century schizoid man. 

Greg Lake’s anguished, distorted cry ‘21st century schizoid man’ has become a cultural touchstone in the 21st century; sampled by Kanye West in Power 

The song also features Tony Blair’s favourite guitar solo; and to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the song PRS Guitars have put the album artwork on a signature guitar 

Image © PRS Guitars 

But 21st  Century Schizoid Man, the first song on In the Court of the Crimson King is followed by the gentle pastoral musings of I Talk to the Wind.

21st Century Schizoid Man and I Talk to the Wind

And King Crimson can also write songs that are as Romantic and melodic as Schoenberg’s Verklärte Nacht – listen to the opening melody of Starless 

For many years, In the Court of the Crimson King was the only album of theirs that I knew. I was reluctant to buy any more of their albums on cd without hearing them first.

Then I saw a video of them playing Frame by Frame from their album Discipline on the Old Grey Whistle Test. This was very different from the prog glory of The Crimson King. The track reminded me of part III of Steve Reich’s Electric Counterpoint – Fast, with its virtuoso playing, use of phasing and chorus effects (but not a chorus of Frogs). In both cases harmonic shifts turn a glittering surface into something deeper, more moving and engaging. I bought Discipline on cd and often returned to its post-punk discipline, sometimes edgy and occasionally slightly manic. But this didn’t really help me appreciate the whole of the King Crimson catalogue of 13 studio albums and about 457 live albums, as the two albums I now owned felt so different. This was partly because the two albums were over ten years apart, with only one member in both line-ups, a gentleman by the name of Robert Fripp esq.

Then in April 2019 a revelation. It was announced that King Crimson’s complete back catalogue of studio albums would be available to stream

At last, I could listen to the albums without buying them. (In case you are worried, I have since bought six more of them on cd).

At about this time, I began working on a radio documentary about auditory illusions in music. The Presenter asked me to find a drummer who could talk about rhythmic illusions, so we went to interview Bill Bruford who I knew from his work with Yes, and also with King Crimson on Discipline. To prepare for the interview, I spent a whole weekend listening to the King Crimson albums that Bill had played on. They were dense, a difficult listen, but there was something that made me want to hear them again.

Bill had e-mailed me to suggest a couple of tracks that would illustrate the creation of rhythmic illusions. One of them was Sex Sleep Eat Drink Dream from King Crimson’s 1995 album Thrak. This is how he described the track,

The purpose here was to create an illusion of imminent chaos, something about to fall off the edge of the world, but in fact it’s not going to at all. It’s entirely precise…and it’s entirely notate-able if you wanted to.

Finally, it all made sense to me – the key to understanding King Crimson seems to be to view their music as precision-tooled dystopia.

Bill went on to say,

In King Crimson…there was always a call for a sense of a threat of impending doom.

I can see that music with a sense of impending doom isn’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea. But there is something visceral about the industrial funk of King Crimson of an album like Thrak. If you surrender to it, like the frog watching seven fridges falling towards it, the experience can be exhilarating, cathartic even.

My plan now is to review some of the King Crimson albums I have discovered in my next few blogs, starting with Thrak.

Read on…

My Father, John Charles Holmes 1933 – 1994

John Charles Holmes 1933 - 2024
John Charles Holmes 1933 - 2024

The festival of Christmas was central to my relationship with my Father who died thirty years ago, in April 1994. Every year, I used to listen to the Nine Lessons and Carols with him on Christmas Eve on BBC Radio 4. A week or so earlier, he would conduct his local church choir at St Werburgh’s in Chorlton-cum-Hardy, Manchester in his own version of the Nine Lessons and Carols. I was a proud member of his choir from age six until leaving for University 12 years later. My Father started me on the musical journey that still continues today.

I wrote this piece several years ago and first published it on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his death:

It’s Christmas Eve and Durham cathedral is full. We got there early for the carol service but we’re still stuck behind the widest pillar.  We can’t see the choir singing the carols but it doesn’t matter. The lights go out and the choir comes in with candles. The sweet solo voice sings the first verse of Once in Royal David’s City, just as in the opening of the service of Nine Lessons and Carols from King’s College Cambridge.

The years roll back and I am with my Father again.

He always insisted we call him Father, not dad. We once played cricket with him in the park and two young urchins came to join our game. Cheekily, they called him Father Dear Father, mocking my use of the word. I hadn’t realised until then that his title was archaic. Later, when I was away at university, he wrote me letters and notes always signed just F, short for Father.

When I started to sign my letters simply with a letter N for Nick, my friends complained that this felt cold. Couldn’t I be bothered to sign my full name? But the simple F at the end of my father’s letters always seemed warm to me, a private, intimate code.

To others, he signed himself JCH, short for John Charles Holmes. He was the choir master of the local church and I was in his choir. The choir boys bought him a leather music case engraved with his initials. He carried it with him to every choir rehearsal. It got more and more battered, but you could still see the black letters JCH engraved on it.

I remember my Father walking home from church with me, carrying his music case as we discussed our visit to the local maternity hospital to sing Christmas carols. We went every year, to sing a carol service in the hospital small chapel. Then we came back to church to put away the robes we had worn for the carol service.

The choir vestry was a cellar beneath the church. We unloaded the robes from ancient suit cases and hung them up on long rails. We climbed back up the stone steps to the side door of the church and locked it with a heavy key. Then a shortcut across the grass to vault over a low wall, checking first that the Reverend Canon Ronald James Birchett – RJB – wasn’t watching.

RJB had been an army captain and took a dim view of civilians who took shortcuts across his churchyard. My father was in awe of RJB but they shared a deep belief in the true meaning of Christmas.

RJB is central to my childhood memories of Christmas Eve. He was tall, broad, proudly strong. His voice was deep and his face was sculpted from granite. So when this proud man went down on his knees to utter the words which marked the birth of Christ, the packed church was silenced by his humility before God.

After that, we choirboys could relax a little. We knew Jesus was about to be born and so Christmas presents were on their way. Midnight Mass actually started at 11:30 at night so there was a silent countdown until midnight came. Christ’s birth on the dot of midnight was marked by choirboys grinning and cheering silently across the choir stalls, always making sure RJB couldn’t see our celebrations.

So the service ended for another Christmas Eve, and my father greeted each choirboy with a cheerful happy Christmas and a box of chocolates.

Christmas Day itself almost seemed less important to him. Christ had been born, so the pagan rituals of exchanging presents, eating turkey and watching the Queen’s speech meant little to him. One year, he even forgot to buy me a Christmas present until my mother reminded him and he ran to the shops to buy something before they closed.

My father died 30 years ago and I don’t think about him every day now, although at the time I vowed I would. But he is still a part of me and at Christmas I feel particularly close to him. I said this to my wife as we were coming out of Durham Cathedral on Christmas Eve. She replied it was natural for me to remember him more at Christmas, because it was his time of year.